Teachable moments

I cannot comprehend the love of God. In my humanness I try to compare it to the love I have for my husband, because it is the deepest love I have and continue to experience, but even that's no comparison. I fully believe that love is an action word and not just a feeling, but the love of God is so much more extravagant than anything else. I don't have to work for it, I don't have to date it and see if it's lasting; it's poured on me everyday no matter what I've done the day before.
This blows my mind. It really does.
 
Ben & I are in a teachable moment. We are experiencing our first year of marriage and all of the new value that it brings. I love our story. It's wrapped up in God's perfect timing and will and sometimes I can't believe that I was picked to be Ben's wife. It's wonderful.
At the beginning of this year we decided to start looking for our first home.
It has been an extremely raw and emotional experience.
We have been out of a place of our own for four months now. We found what we thought was a perfect place at the beginning of June. One week before we were set to close we found out that it had fallen through. We were staying at my parents house during that time and we had no idea what we were going to do. I remember searching for houses one Sunday evening and feeling so hopeless. We prayed together, believing that God was in the midst of this process and that He would open doors for us.
That following Thursday we offered on our perfect home. We felt peace.
I woke up that same night with a comfort in my soul that the Lord was ordering our steps and that everything would work out.
Two weeks before we were scheduled to close we hit a major hault.
I don't know if I have ever cried so much in my life. I felt confusion and anger and disbelief. I wondered if I had really heard the voice of the Lord. I felt very inadequate.
 
So here we are, almost a month later with no house or set time frame of when we will have our house or if it's even going to happen at all, but we have God's love. His grace has been with us during our confusion and sadness. I know there's a reason for it. I know we're learning patience & humbleness. I know He's writing a bigger story. I know He's in control... sometimes that's all I know. But that's enough.
 
I've had moments of doubt, but i'm quickly reassured that no matter what happens, He is with us. I know wanting a house seems trivial, when there's so many needs far more desperate than this, but it's significant to us and I know that God cares.
I want to be able to say that I didn't waste away this moment, but that I sought God everyday, and His grace met me where I am.
 
That's where we are.
Technically homeless, staying with my in laws, seeking Christ with everything we have in us.
 
Hebrews 12:28
"Since we are receiving a kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshipping him with holy fear and awe."